02 November 2006

2 Nov

If Jamie were a black bear, he'd be dead (average lifespan 18 years).

If Jamie were a hippopotamus, he'd be almost dead (average lifespan 30 years).

If Jamie were a mouse, he'd have been dead before he knew it (average lifespan 2 years).

If Jamie were a wolf, he would live in a pack, eat meat, snarl, and be dead by now (average lifespan 10 years).

If Jamie were a fox, chicks would dig him (even feminist chicks), but not now. Because he'd be dead (average lifespan 9 years).

But Jamie's a guy. Just a guy (average lifespan 75 years).

The law of averages, however, is not always to be trusted. People have lived to be as old as 122.

Foxes have lived to age 14.

Wolves can creep along until they're 18.

Mice have been known to skitter into walls until the ripe old age of 4.

Hippopotomi have been known to be hungry for 49 years.

Black bears? Just ask one.

Turtles can live to be 125.

Tortoises, 193.

Bowhead whale--200.

And the Quahog (deep sea clam) can live for up to 220 years.

And there is no TV under the sea.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

No, but everything IS better, down where it's wetter, under the sea.

Jamie said...

Thank you, Sebastian. :-D