16 October 2006

16 Oct--Whatever you do

What one does during the day (or night) to earn a living, is not necessarily what one "does." A woman may lead a team of business advisers from 8 to 6, five days a week. Yet the moment she walks through the door of her city apartment she is a cellist and cannot wait to grip the hulking curve between her knees and play. To her, sliding the bow against the strings is to slit the day's belly and let spill the hours. She is a musician. Although she only spends a few hours creating music, and makes little to no money at it, she would cease to be herself if she could not. And yet, if she lost her job and was left to starve, she would happily connect the last of herself to a song.

These things Jamie's mother told him many times, in various iterations, throughout his life. In short, do not confuse your living with your life. Jamie applied this principle when he chose poetry over business or computer science. He figured he could learn a skill whenever he wanted, but to learn to think and create was indeed urgent.

But that was years ago. Now I want to know languages, he thought, technical languages, and what if I really wanted to know them years ago, but assumed I wanted to learn poetry? He brooded about having lost so much time. Every day he spent coding he knew he was farther behind than he was the day before--the more he learned, the more he realised he didn't know.

He wanted to drink. All those years, all that advice--was it all a mistake?


1 comment:

Darrell said...

No mistake. You can always learn to code. I'd give anything to be able to express myself like you.