It was supposed to be simple: bury a folder deep in the department's (the government department for whom Jamie contracts, but who must remain anonymous) portal to test a few web pages he built for another client. Sure, it was a little sneaky, and there was a slight echo of subversion ringing in Jamie's ears as he created the new folder (he liked it. It reminded him of any given day between the ages of 8 and 18).
At the last minute, however, he decided against it. Not that he was chickening out, he just realised he knew of a better, more secret, more subversive place to hide the files. So he deleted the folder he'd just made, and was surprised to see a confirmation message pop up. "Are you sure you want to delete this folder and all its contents?" It asked.
"Strange," Jamie thought. "I didn't put anything in the folder. Must be a standard message." And just as he lifted his index finger from the mouse, releasing the left-click and with it the "Yes" button, he caught a brief glimpse of the folder highlighted on the screen: RootDAV.
RootDAV is the agency's server; the Intranet; the Portal. It is the hub of all intra-office affairs. Home of phone numbers and funding procedures, profiles and application forms. And Jamie had just deleted it.
It was 4:45pm. Much of the IT staff had left for the day. He looked over his shoulder to check if anyone had seen what just happened. But since Jamie sat in front of a window, the gesture was no more than thoughtless reaction. He decided to try opening a few pages in the broswer. The error message that flashed before him was so unlike any he'd ever seen, it actually frightened him. This was not a "page not found," or "try opening this file again." Before him were the words, "This Server is not responding. Please contact the Webmaster for support." The word "Webmaster" was a hyperlink, and therein was some assurance. Jamie pointed his mouse to click the link but stopped.
"Shit. I'M the Webmaster."
It was now 4:48pm. Jamie received three successive emails: Can't download . . . can't log on . . . Intranet seems to be down.
4:49: the phone rings. Jamie quietly reassures the gentleman that everything is normal. "Just a routine fix. It'll be back up in no time."
"Who was that?" Liam asked, looking over the top of his monitor at Jamie.
"Oh, nobody. Hey, will you open the portal home page for me?" Jamie asked.
"Sure." There was a brief pause. " . . . wait . . . no. I can't."
"Damn." Jamie said.
"Um . . . what'd you do?" Liam asked slowly.
"Remember the Intranet?"
"What do you mean 'remember?'" Liam was more serious now.
"Well, I sorta deleted it."
"You deleted the server?"
"Shhh! For Christ's sake! Do you want people to find out?!" Immediately after he said it, he realised how ridiculous it was. But something inside him told Jamie to stay calm because something else inside him--and Liam--was trying to get out: panic. So both of them sat and looked at the error message for a few more minutes as if it was going to reveal some deeper message.
It didn't.
"James?"
"Yeah."
"You know HR processes everyone's salary on the portal?" Liam asked without moving.
"No kidding? That's dumb. Cause I just crashed it." Jamie replied honestly. "When do they do that?"
"Today."
"Oh. What time?"
"5pm." Liam answered.
it was 4:55. And then Liam and Jamie were struck with the same thought at the same time. But before they could go get drunk, the had to fix the server.
"Damnit. What's the quickest, dirtiest way to fix this?" Jamie was impatient. A quality he inherited from his mother.
"Well, I guess we could just reboot it, but there's no guarantee it will all be in order. Plus, the whole server will be down for 5 minutes while it restarts." Liam explained.
"Liam," Jamie said patiently, "the server is GONE! What's 5 minutes?"
"Oh yeah. Good point. Shall we?"
"Let's." It struck Jamie how nonchalont the two of them were behaving considering nobody in the organisation was going to get paid, and blame would fall on both of them. Liam and Jamie spent the next 5 minutes on Job Search websites. Jamie was just about to submit his resume when he saw Liam thrust his arms into the air.
"It's up!' It's up!"
"Sweet," Jamie said. "Let's go to the pub before people figure out what happened." Jamie grabbed his bag and was out the door. Bringing down an entire government network is thirsty business.
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